Weekly Health Check-in + IF Update

Starting Weight: 166
Last Weeks Weight: 160
Current Weight: 161.6
Total Weight loss: 4.4lbs- +1.6 from last week

This has been a very difficult week for me. I did complete Week 6 Day 1 & 2 of C25K. I think I did pretty well. Day 1 was HORRIBLE, but I made it through! Day 2 was much better. I plan to complete week 6 tomorrow with a 22 minute jog without walking. I am really looking forward to just going out on the trail and jogging. I really need to put on my big girl panties and get out of this funk I am in.

My funk: So, IUI#4 was a fail. Not only did AF come, but she came 3 days early. I haven't dealt with this failed cycle very well. I feel like a failure, I feel angry, I feel like this will never happen, I feel like I am being punished, and mostly I feel really really sad.

How long can I deal with failed cycles? How much is too much money to poor into something that may or may not work? When do I "give up"?

I have already payed for a package of 3 IUIs, so I have two IUI's remaining in the package. So it is not even a questions that we will complete these two IUIs and pray that one of them takes.

I got my plan for IUI#5 on Friday. I will be taking Femara 10mg Cycle day 3-7. The last two cycles I took the Femara cycle day 3-8, so this is a change. I had a very very large follicle last cycle (28mm), so I think that may be why he cut it a day short. I will be going in for my ultra sound on Cycle day 8 to check my response to the meds and hopefully I will have 2 mature follies in there. In the past I have gone in for my ultrasound on cycle day 10, but I think since my follicle was so big last cycle and since I only had one, he wants me to go in earlier in order to hopefully catch more follicles and check them before they get "too big". That is my assumption anyways!

Hubby and I also made a very big decision. If we get to IUI#6 (the last one in the 3 IUI package) and it is not successful, then we will do a treatment break. We will take a break from IF meds and treatments so that we can get our finances in order. We will buckle down and create a comfortable savings and then start to save money for either additional IF treatment, or adoption. So basically, time is running out for me. I have no clue how long it will take us to save up the amount of money we need to. There is pretty much no chance I would be able to have an inkling of a chance of getting pregnant with out meds because I do not ovulate. So basically, if it takes months/years to save up...that is how long our trying to conceive journey is on hold. Gah!! IF Sucks!!

My Plan:

1. I will try to focus on one cycle at a time. I will put all of my energy thoughts into IUI#5.
2. I will track my food. I, again, failed to track my food on WW..hence the weight gain. 
3. I will not eat my emotions. I ate a Hot Fudge Browni Sundae for dinner the night my period started....those emotions were DELISH though!!
4. I will try to stop being so angry

Weekly Health Check-in!

Starting Weight: 166 lbs
Last Week Weight: 162.5 lbs
Current Weight: 160 lbs
Total Weight Loss= 6 lbs

I am in total shock that I lost weight this week. I thought for sure I would be at the same weight or gained a few. It a really bad eating week. Last Sunday hubby and I went to the movies where we ate lots of popcorn. My mom's birthday celebration was Monday so we went to a Mexican restaurant where it is impossible to get something healthy. I tried and had shrimp tacos. Then Tuesday night was work Ladies night, where we had more Mexican. I went to a sandwich shop Wed. night and ate half of my sandwich and brought the other half to work Thursday. Thursday night I picked up chinese for me and hubby where I ate take-out chinese. Friday night was Book-club so we went out to eat. I had Salmon, so I tried. And then Saturday afternoon I went to chinese and had left over chinese for dinner. Boo Hiss!!!

This week was so bad I didn't track any of the food on Weight Watchers. I was bad, but I will be better next week! I will go back to tracking everything.

C25K: I completed week 5 this week and I can not believe I did it! Week 5 day 3 was to run 20 minutes without walking. It wasn't pretty, but I did it!

Goal for next week: Chart my food and do better with my food!! I need to go food shopping so I have healthy food around the house.

IUI#4 Done!

So,  two posts in one night.

IUI#4 was Saturday morning!! I think everything went very well. If you remember, I had one 28mm follicle on the left side. I decided to name it Follicia. We had an uneventful morning on Saturday. We went in and there was a weighting room full of couples...yes on a Saturday. So, there was that awkward, don't look into there eyes but you want to know why they are here vibe. One couple had some suspicious packages that they brought with them, along with a lunch box, so of course I was uber curious what they were getting done. Then there was a first time couple, never been to the RE's office on a Saturday. So cute...We used to be that new, nervous couple....now we are 4 IUIs deep. Still nervous, but we know now what to expect.
Richard's part went well, he said "Hot for Teacher" came on the radio, so that was probably helpful for him. More helpful than the previous times when he had KLove and the country station on.

His counts tied for his highest, which I am very happy about. 45.6 million total motile. so, I had 45.6 million sperm going towards Follicia. I was extremely crampy for the first 24+ hours. I was unable to go to work the next day due to the extreme cramping and discomfort. I feel better now and am hoping the cramping is a good sign.

FX that this is the one!!

Weekly Heath Check In

I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date!!

I forgot to do my weekly health check in yesterday.

Starting weight: 166lb
Last Week weight: 163.6
This week weight: 162.5

I weighed myself Sunday morning and I hadn't lost any weight, but then I went back "neked" and I was 162.5! I'll take it!
I really didn't eat well last week but I have done great on my C25K! I have completed week 4 and have started on week 5. I even did an extra run where I ran 2 miles without any walking whatsoever!! I then followed that up with a mile walk. Now it's time to chisel away at that 3rd mile! I can do it! I can do it!!

I think I see some difference in my body. I think my lower legs look more toned and my love handles aren't quite so prominent. Richard said he could see a difference as well, but he might have just been scared what would happen if he said he didn't see any change = ).

I will do week 5 on C25K, I plan to add some off-road trail runs! First one is tomorrow morning! I am pretty excited about it! I also really need to focus on eating healthier. I can't tell you how many times I went over my Weight Watchers Points!!

 I have booked my first race too!! I will be running in the Color Me Rad 5K in Johnson City, TN on Sept. 14 with some great friends I met on a IF support group!! I am so so excited to meet these wonderful ladies and represent IF...we are saying FU to IF!!

IUI#4 Plan in Place!

So, I had my Mid-cycle monitoring appt. for IUI#4 this afternoon. I was very anxious about the appointment because Hubby couldn't be there with me today because of work. I almost felt fragile and vulnerable there by myself. My emotions have just been all over the place, all I wanted was for Hubby to be there, to be my comfort.

So, I sat on the table, naked from bottom down waiting for the dildo cam. First people who walk in are my RE's nurse and a very obviously pregnant "chief resident". I couldn't even look her in the eye. I felt like I was being so incredibly rude, but I just couldn't look at her. It through me off guard so much!
So the dildo cam experience began. Dr. P started talking about my tilted uterus some more. I swear he talks about how tilted back my uterus is at every appt. It makes me think that if he keeps talking about it over and over, then maybe it can pose a problem. I know he was just teaching the resident, but still!
He first went to the right side....and nothing. There might have been a couple 6/7mm and an old 12ish mm. I started to tear up thinking that I stopped responding to meds.
Then, he went to the left side and there was a HUGE 28mm one! That's when the water works really started! I literally BooHoo'd with the dildo cam in place, nurse patting my arm for comfort and Dr.P and the resident were probably like WTH?!? Dr. P. asked if he was hurting me or if I was crying for another reason. I assured him that he was not hurting me, it has just been emotional. I apologized for crying which made me cry even more.
I am sure he has witnessed many women cry for various reasons during a trans-vaginal ultrasound...I just didn't want to be the one to do it.

So, One follicle in the running and it's a BIG ONE! I will do my Ovidrel trigger shot tonight at 9:00pm and IUI#4 is scheduled for Saturday morning at 9:30am!

I also asked about Hubby's Genetic results. Since I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, I wanted to make sure that he was not a carrier before we continued with this IUI. He is not!!! YAY!! Such relief!! Thank you for those who prayed for good results! It helped!!

What shall I name my Follie?!?

Infertility Etiquette

I was reading one of my fellow IF friend's blogs and she had this link to the RESOLVE website, which is the National Infertility Association.

I thought it was a very good post and really explains things better than I could ever explain myself.

Infertility Etiquette

I hope it helps those that don't have to go through infertility better understand what so many couples go through and maybe how to be more sensitive when around people struggling with infertility. I don't want people to think that you must walk on egg shells whenever you are around someone who is struggling with infertility, but maybe if you had a little more insight into how we feel when certain things occur then you may think twice before saying something.

Disclaimer: This is not directed at anyone specifically in my personal life, just something to think about.

Weekly Health Check-in

So, I will do my weekly health check-ins on Sundays because that is when I weight myself for Weight Watchers.

Original Weight: 166
Last Weeks Weight: 164.4
This weeks Weight: 163.6
Loss of:0.8lbs from last week

I will take it! I had a lot of great accomplishments this week and also a few set backs that probably caused the minimal weight loss.

I will start with the set backs:

1.  AF came to visit this week which probably didn't help with the following. 
2.  I just haven't eaten well this week. Hubby and I went out to eat at the beginning of the week which caused a trickling effect of bad eating because of leftovers. We went to a wonderful BBQ place where they have fried dill pickles...I can not turn away friend dill pickles!!
3. I had not one, but two, pieces of Italian creme cake on the 4th of July. It is my favorite kind of cake EVER and it was my ILs wedding anniversary. 
4. We had pizza last night for dinner because we were both exhausted.  

Accomplishments:

1. I completed week 3 of C25k and then some! Week 3 has probably been my favorite so far. I was so worried about running for a longer period of time, but I really enjoyed it. 
2. Related to running: I went on a longer trail that was 2.15 miles each way. On the first way I did week 3 day 3 of C25k and was exhausted so I sat down for a few minutes. On the way back I walked for a couple minutes and then started to jog. I probably jogged for another .75 miles. walked for a bit, then jogged again. So, my total for the day was 4.3 miles. 
3. I ran 2 miles without walking!! There is a trail that is 1 mile around and my plan was just to run, without doing the C25K, just to see how far I could go. so, I ended up running two miles!! I walked for maybe 30 seconds in order to get from the end of the trial back to the beginning...but that's it!! I was so proud of myself = )
4. I lifted weights on Friday and my arms are still reminding me about that little experiment.
5. I only ate half a cookie yesterday for lunch.

So, this is my week in a nutshell! I am hoping for better results on the scale next week!

I can't believe I am doing this

Ok, I can not believe I am about to put my weight out there for the world to see...but I have to in order to keep myself accountable and to really push myself to reach my goal.

Here it goes:
I started Weight Watchers and C25K 3 weeks ago in the hopes of losing weight, getting more toned and getting healthier.
My BFF put her stats on her blog and as much as I think she is crazy for doing it, I realize it has to be done in order to make for darn sure I reach my goal.

Ugh I don't want to do this!!!! ::bangs head on table:: ::stomps feet like a little kid during a temper tantrum::

My Stats:
Starting Weight: 166lbs
Height: 5'4" (on a good day)
Current Weight: 164.4lbs
Pants size: 10-12 (mostly 12, I have birthing hips...go figure the infertile has birthing hips)
Shirt size: Large/XL to be comfortable

My Goal:
Weight:  145
Pants Size: 6-8
Shirt Size: M

Plan for IUI#4 is in

So, AF came this morning. I just can not believe how long this cycle was! AF came 20dp Trigger shot and 18dp IUI#3! That is a long time! Usually AF comes at about 15dpIUI...Not this time!
I have been having AF cramps for a few days now so it was just a waiting game for me for when AF came, I think hubby still had some hope left...woops.

Ok, so the plan:
Femara 10mg CD 3-8. So I will start on thursday
Mid-cycle Ultrasound is July 11th at 2:00pm
I will do Ovidrel Trigger when it is time
IUI#4!

This is the same regimen as IUI#3, which I am happy about since I had very good response last time. I think that if we keep getting "ideal" cycles then eventually one will "stick". I hope so at least.

Now, I am off to go have lunch with my Mother-in law! I am hoping for sushi!!